HOPE K

 I received an email minutes after reading that the 2020 Olympics have been cancelled. (Canada and Australia were the first dissenters, with the Americans following suit when the writing was on the wall, amid the shaky news that the death rate of 17,000 is showing no signs of diminishment) Hope K. is a would-be bride who has wrestled with the decision about whether or not to walk down the aisle in May. As a recent mother-of-the-bride, I know how much planning, expense and time has been lovingly allotted to such a monumental occasion. Think of the tent rentals. Limos. Hair appointments. Gowns. Invitations. Stamps. An event planner in Philadelphia drove two trucks of blooms once intended for now-canceled get-togethers over to Rittenhouse Square and flower-bombed the whole area. A much-appreciated gesture of making the best of a terrible situation.

Hope wrote…

“After many long discussions and sleepless nights (oh okay, a few tears too) we are writing to let everyone know that we have decided to postpone our wedding. While we are hopeful that by May 30th family reunions, dinners out and social gatherings will have started back up again, the stress of making this decision was weighing on us – and we desperately want to spend the months leading up to our wedding getting excited rather than checking John Hopkins for the daily Covid-19 count in Canada.”

 

Right now the losses seem to be piling up. Eddie, Hal’s barber, makes enough to cover his rent, and care for his sister who has schizophrenia. I’m sure you can think of a dozen people who live paycheck to paycheck.

Our elected leaders are front and center on a daily basis. I see Justin Trudeau’s haunted face when I close my eyes. His wife Sophie is in quarantine, they have three young children, and my hope for them is that their youth and good health will mean mild symptoms. The downward pressure on the ICU has yet to manifest in Canada, but New York is in crisis. It won’t be long before they fill their 3000 ICU beds. Governor Cuomo predicts they will need in excess of 37,000. It means that people will die alone. That little statistic fills me with dread. To think of anyone gasping for breath by themselves because we don’t have the discipline to stay in our homes and prevent the spread. Angela Merkel predicted this mass upheaval weeks before anyone else. She was a Ph.D. chemist long before she was a politician. She knew about contagion. She also knew that Western society did not have the kind of self-control or rigor required for social distancing. Boris Johnson, so wet behind the ears as a newly-elected officer, was simply too hesitant to have his constituents suffer the economic hardships of closures. And Brexit was hard-won, tentative at best. It was Macron who ultimately forced his hand with the threat of border closings between England and France. And that brings us to Donald Trump. As much as there is next to nothing that I admire about this man, now is not the time for criticism. We can’t hear Trump quack like a duck for four years and then all of a sudden expect him to bark like a dog. He has shown us his narcissism time after time. That kind of person is a bottomless pit of need, therefore he will never be able to give us compassion and empathy, even if we are in the middle of a pandemic. It occurs to me that he rarely talks lovingly about his wife, his mother, his son Barron. I wonder what kind of emotional deprivation he suffered, despite the gold mirrors, and capped-chauffeurs who helped line his childhood with material wealth instead of love and affection. I’m speculating, but don’t expect “presidential,” from a person whose coffers are empty of the kinds of tools necessary to inspire a nation.

 

I keep hearing about incredible acts of kindness. People are dropping off groceries. Drug store runs for the elderly. Musicians and authors and every type of performer is taping and presenting online for free. There is much generosity right now. I fear that even these actions will grind down to nothing in a matter of days and weeks if the virus continues to spread.

 

Instead, spread hope and goodwill, and love.