These are the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Chapman suggests that learning your partner's and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship. We all have attributes of each category, and it may be disingenuous to put people in boxes, however as a general concept it’s interesting to determine the hierarchy of these attributes.
Just For Now. Center Down
Marty Sedek, a young composer created new music for a poem.
Read the poem and then listen to Mr. Sedek’s interpretation of Lynn Ungar’s wisdom.
Pandemic – poem by Lynn Ungar
What if you thought of it
as the Jews consider the Sabbath—
the most sacred of times?
Cease from travel.
Cease from buying and selling.
Give up, just for now,
on trying to make the world
different than it is.
Sing. Pray. Touch only those
to whom you commit your life.
Center down.
And when your body has become still,
reach out with your heart.
Know that we are connected
in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.
(You could hardly deny it now.)
Know that our lives
are in one another’s hands.
(Surely, that has come clear.)
Do not reach out your hands.
Reach out your heart.
Reach out your words.
Reach out all the tendrils
of compassion that move, invisibly,
where we cannot touch.
Promise this world your love–
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
so long as we all shall live.
March 2020
Lynn Ungar is a Unitarian Universalist minister in California.
Francesca Melandri's thoughts from inside a pandemic
An April fool
In Montreal, and in many cities in North America, apart from New York City, we are at a crossroads. I believe the first to weeks of April will dictate whether we follow the path of Italy, or the path China. The next two weeks will lead to a crisis in emergency if we don’t slow down the rapid spread. The cynic in me would say we don’t have the discipline to see terrible short-term pain for extraordinary long-term gain.
Pearl
When a grain of sand finds its way inside the shell of an oyster, the tiny intruder, despite being microscopic becomes a terrible source of irritation and pain for the inside of the soft liquid oyster. When it cannot rid itself of the offending sand particle, the oyster seeks to reduce that irritation by coating the little particle with layer upon layer of malleable iridescent mother-of-pearl material from its very own shell. Overtime the pearl has transformed a terrible hardship into something of great beauty.
Why Antibodies are important
HOPE K
I received an email minutes after reading that the 2020 Olympics have been cancelled. (Canada and Australia were the first dissenters, with the Americans following suit when the writing was on the wall, amid the shaky news that the worldwide death rate of 17,000 is showing no signs of slowing down.) Hope K. is a would-be bride who has wrestled with the decision about whether or not to walk down the aisle in May. As a recent mother-of-the-bride, I know how much planning, expense and time has been lovingly allotted to such a monumental occasion. My daughter told me that newly cancelled brides in Philadelphia had donated their flowers to beautify Rittenhouse Square. Think of the tent rentals. Limos. Hair appointments. Gowns. Invitations. Stamps.
Friends
I don't have time
Tonight at 8 p.m. all of Montreal is invited to go to their balcony, or front step, or front porch and sing. SO Long Marianne by Leonard Cohen…
We all need to pull together right now…virtual birthday parties, virtual family reunions.
When did you feel gratitude today.
Here’s how the cookies turned out.
Can you show me how to iron?
I love you. Talk to you tomorrow.
Bye Grammy.
We can still walk outside, and I was shocked to see that so many young people are flaunting the social distancing recommendation. They falsely believe that COV-19 is an illness that fells the elderly, the infirm, the people with lowered immune systems. Or, if they contract the virus it would be a minor nuisance. In time, we will see what was or should be the proper protocol. Angela Merkel predicted that 70% of Germans would get the virus. She is a PhD chemist, and I have faith in her assessment. I’ve been wondering aloud, what does she know that we don’t? Boris Johnson, on the other hand is reluctant to push the panic button, and close down the UK. And our very own PM looks sad every time he steps outside 24 Sussex to address the nation. His wife Sophie tested positive. That means she can’t hug her children. I hope that she and Justin are still having long-drawn-out conversations about the pandemic, and that they are able to carry the national worry on two shoulders instead of one.
I wonder every minute about Italy. The death rate continues to climb in Lombardy region. Mostly I worry because my daughter and her husband are doctors at a busy hospital that has not yet seen the peak of COVI-19. When I see videos of Italian doctors kneeling on the floor in hospital hallways crying, my stomach clutches.
cooking
cleaning
organizing
baking
learning a new language
practice the piano
memorize the words to an entire musical
phone people you are estranged from
iron stuff
meditation and mindfulness
learn yoga online
listen to the opera
sew
do the New York Times crossword puzzle
water your plants
wash your windows
make homemade birthday cards with magazines and glue
36 Weeks
Imagine if your daughter, or sister, or spouse was 36 weeks pregnant amid a viral crisis that has not yet peaked in Canada. It should be a time of blissful anticipation instead of aching chronic worry about contracting COVID-19.
My nephew’s wife is organized, detailed, thorough and she has had three bags packed for several weeks, the crib and stroller are outfitted in the event that her newborn arrives early. What about other would-be mothers who can’t shop right now? On-line shopping is a flurry, but at some point even those employees may need to stay home and flatten the curve.
Balloons, cannabis and Fred
My mother and I can’t visit each other today. I thought about delivering balloons, but the shop is closed, a social responsibility that hasn’t yet been forced upon the citizens of Montreal, yet looks imminent. I hope they don’t go under. Perhaps the margins for balloons will carry them through. Happy Birthday Keena Doherty. 91 today. Keena golfs, takes swimming and bridge lessons, reads ever day, loves The View and Alex Trebek, and makes shepherd’s pie for the homeless. That’s just one finger. As the coronavirus has been viciously thinning the ranks of the elderly, I try not to think of her vulnerabilities. Last year was a long and miraculous series of celebrations that will have to carry over into this year.
Arthur W Barnes
Several months ago I began to work on a new novel, Arthur W Barnes, a work of fiction and an exploration of temptation. That can wait. Right now I need to focus on the fallout from social distancing, or rather the unexpected blessings that can bring us together as airlines shut their engines, shops and services lock their doors, and we wait at home for COVID-19 to abate. Imagine that you are a main character in this story. Maybe you have a lot, maybe you have nothing and rely on the generosity of strangers. We have a chance to dictate the plot, the outcomes, the ravages or the reaping.
Why??? Your answers.
The air is cleaner because the factories are closed.
The air is cleaner because airlines are shutting down
the water is cleaner because there are fewer boats in the water, fewer people polluting
People are learning how to better communicate
Schools are looking at best age-appropriate practices for on-line learning
People are reading more books
People are trying to establish cleaner daily routines
Families are spending more time together
People are developing greater empathy
Spanish Flu 1918
When an infected person sneezes or coughs, more than half a million virus particles can spread to those nearby. The close quarters and massive troop movements of World War I hastened the pandemic, and probably both increased transmission and augmented mutation. The war may also have increased the lethality of the virus. Some speculate that the soldiers' immune systems were weakened by malnourishment, as well as the stresses of combat and chemical attacks, increasing their susceptibility.
A large factor in the worldwide occurrence of this flu was increased travel. Modern transportation systems made it easier for soldiers, sailors, and civilian travelers to spread the disease.[
Stop. Be Still
Tom Hanks/Fred Rogers
It’s no coincidence that Tom Hanks was selected to be the first famous person to step forward with a diagnosis of COVID19. He represents goodness, and marital fidelity, authenticity, and above all we seem to trust him more than others. It’s also not fate that he played the role of Fred Rogers in the movie, A Beautiful Day in Your Neighbourhood. Mr. Rogers was ahead of the curve, and fearless in a time when his message was seen as superfluous or uncool, or too buttoned up.
What character did you play?
In a few years, books will be written about COVID19. There will be stories of deprivation, heroism, hoarding, panic, suicide from financial loss, sacrifice, and unusual acts of bravery. There be deaths, and new babies born, family grudges resolved, and new ones formed. And, so I ask you, what character did you play?
Thoughts During a Pandemic
From Exodus: And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where you are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land…I believe this is a modern message of faith. Faith in each other. Faith that the abandonment of the material world in the short term is a small price to pay for the value of each human being.